003: My walk on beauty ideal

Hello guys!

As promised, I am here to talk about how my thoughts on beauty has changed over the years.
Disclaimer: This is just my point of view on the topic currently. It may change in a few years, months, or even weeks time, as we are constantly changing. I do not wish to harp my opinion on others, but just share my thoughts. Feel free to share yours too, so we can learn more. After all, life is all about learning, right?

When I was younger, I was surrounded by the notion of "Plastics", whereby people that went through Plastic Surgery are seen as "vain", and are judged by others. At the same time, when I was young I never had much insecurities, hence plastic surgery / tweaking features weren't in my "Wants" list.

Then came puberty, where it was a mixed of hormonal change and messages from the society, whereby we were bombarded with the beauty "ideal". The perfect facial proportions, V-shaped face, small and sharp nose, fair skin.. (etc. etc.) So I started seeing imperfections in me through the mirror, especially my nose, which I undoubtedly feel that it is too big for my face. I was blessed with nice skin with some blocked pores, but I was applying skin care products religiously, so that kinda helped it. For my nose, I was kind of determined to have it done under the knife (I hadn't heard of less-invasive procedures then) when I grow older and have the money to.

Yoona from SNSD (with her oh-so-perfect features)

As I lose myself deeper and deeper into this hole of low self-esteem, I began looking for ways to make myself feel better, and less self-absorbed. I went to look into my favourite source of entertainment - YouTube, where I try to find encouraging YouTubers to feel less insecure and better about myself. This brought me to YouTubers like Bubzbeauty (Lindy - my all-time favourite), Kale (Kalyn Nicholson), Superwoman (Lilly), Bonny Rebecca, Happyandhealthy96 (Steph Yu).. Okay I have close to 100 Subscriptions, so I will not list all of them one by one, but you get the gist. I wanted to be surrounded by positivity clear my mind from my lack of confidence.

Let me side track while I link my favourite video of all time:

Note how brave Bubz is, for showing her tummy. She really is someone I look up to and aspire to be, for her energetic and kind soul, spreading love and positive energy. ^^

So I tried my best to advocate "Embracing your flaws", "Accepting who you are", "Love yourself for who you are", "You don't need to change for others' view of Beauty".


However, as the saying goes, it is easier said than done.

I guess it's human nature to compare. To feel inferior, so that we can be a better version of ourselves. To strive for perfection, so that even if we fail, we are close to it. To constantly question ourselves if we can better, so that we can advance forward.

So I started having second thoughts. What if beauty doesn't actually mean accepting the current state we are at? What if beauty doesn't mean not allowing ourselves to change our features to something that we life? What if beauty doesn't mean loving every single aspect of ourselves?

If we were to judge those that goes through procedures to change their appearance as they are not "embracing their flaws", then why can we be so flamboyantly spreading the love for make up? Isn't procedures like eyebrow tattooing permanent make-up? If a chin filler that hides someone's double chin made her feel more confident about herself and is more willing to go out with her friends, should we criticise her? If a mole removal can allow someone to enjoy taking selfies more, should we condemn her from doing the treatment? If a mother undergoes face threadlift to, in her terms, look younger, in preparation for her daughter's wedding, are we to judge her for being too "vain"? If a 25-year-old-single male undergoes Acne Scar Removal to reduce "How many kids do you have?" comments, do we have the right to say he is not embracing his flaws?

So why are we looking down and judging those that goes through procedures, when we ourselves are performing actions subtly similar to them?

We all have our reasons. If others' decision doesn't impact your life (and shouldn't impact), we do not have the right to shame their actions, for we do not know the whole story in their life.

Hence I've came to conclude that it is beautiful even if you had made alterations into your features since birth. It is beautiful even if you choose to wear make up everyday, even if you are just leaving your house to buy groceries. It is beautiful even if you are bare-faced on your wedding day.

We have to learn how to accept ourselves and our decisions. If  you want to go for a nose implant because you are tired of trying to brain-wash yourself to love the flat and wide nose you see every day in the mirror, go for it. If you want to go for Jaw Botox because you never seem to lose the fats off your face and you really dislike it, then do it. If you are tired of people saying you look "exhausted" with your natural sunken tear trough despite sleeping 8 hours everyday, and wants to go for filler injections, feel free to do so. You don't need to explain your decisions to others, you just need to hold yourself accountable. Love yourself on your journey to become a better version of yourself, to be more confident. Ensure that whatever you are doing is for a reason that is good enough for you to understand and agree 10 years down the road. Do think twice before performing tweaks, because you want the future you to thank you instead of accusing you. If a double eyelid surgery can allow you to love taking more photos of yourself, then I guess the older version of you will appreciate it, for you have gave more photos to reminisce about.

However, once again I reiterate, whatever permanent surgery you choose to undergo, think twice. Because unlike non-permanent and non-invasive treatments that disappear over time, they may not be as easily reversed. Do your research and look for a reputable doctor, someone that you can trust, for you are entrusting your appearance to him/her. Yes, beauty isn't about appearance, but it can have a lasting impact on your self-confidence.
Here's a song that I recently enjoy listening to, about plastic surgery.
Note: It is not for the faint-hearted.